The Jersey Shore Reunion Had Less #GTL And More #Adulting Than Expected

Our not-so-secret fave delinquents from the Jersey Shore returned to television for the reunion that no one asked for on Sunday night. Unfortunately, the episode felt a lot like returning to that iconic club from your college days—nostalgic, but at the same time, a bit sad and disappointing.

The cast, or at least some of them, reunited for a real brief “road trip”/afternoon outing, five years after they aired the final episode of Jersey Shore. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the 30-minute episode, which aired on E! instead of the show’s OG network MTV, will serve as a pilot for a potential docu-series offering fans another chance to party once again with the self-proclaimed guidos.

That said, if the reunion showed us anything, it’s that a lot can change in five years. To start with, the cast and crew were not allowed back to their old Seaside Heights haunts, so instead the entire episode was shot at Jenkinson’s Boardwalk in Point Pleasant Beach. Here’s we learned from about the Jersey Shore cast from their Reunion Road Trip, and some of the episode’s biggest moments:

The Situation lives up to his name 

The reunion roadtrip was driven, literally and figuratively, by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino who, since the show’s final episode five years ago, has lived up to his name and found himself in a bit of a “situation” with the IRS (sorry, I had to). Apparently, Sorrentino and his brother are both facing more than a decade of possible jail time for charges including tax evasion and falsifying records.

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was the first to ask Sorrentino about his tax issues, adding that when “The Situation” got audited, so did the entire cast. “Do not f-ck with the IRS,” she says. (Whoever thought that we would be talking about taxes on the Jersey Shore.)

(Credit: Giphy)

Over the course of the episode, it’s also clear that Sorrentino had some serious issues during and after filming, no only with his taxes but with alcoholism and drugs. When the cast went to Italy, Sorrentino reveals that the real reason that he banged his head into a concrete wall, giving himself a concussion, was because he was so inebriated up at the time. He also reveals that for majority of Jersey Shore’s six seasons, he was not allowed to drive. From the sounds of it, Sorrentino’s addiction-fuelled behaviour caused some serious confrontations among the cast, and after the show went off the air they parted ways with “The Situation.” The road trip, in a way, was Sorrentino’s redemption tour—and possibly his last hurrah if he ends up going to jail.

Snooki has settled down

The self-described meatball turned mother of two may have new lips and new boobs but she is the same old Snooki—just toned down a bit. Polizzi has swapped drunk nights out on the Jersey Shore boardwalk for running her clothing and beauty business that sells everything from dresses to her iconic fuzzy slippers. There is even a Snooki Couture perfume.

(Credit: Giphy)

In the past five years, Polizzi has clearly done a lot of growing up, but still knows how to be the life of the party. She’s matured past her days of getting so wasted that she can’t find the beach from the boardwalk, but is still full of witty one-liners and contagious giggles and we are so here for it.

Pauly D is crushing the DJ game 

Paul DelVecchio is living his best life. Unlike Sorrentino, DelVecchio is loving his post-Shore career and has been traveling the world as a successful DJ. Five years later, DelVecchio is still sporting his rock-solid hair crown look and sticking to the GTL (gym, tan, laundry) routine—although now he has a gym in his swanky condo building, switched to spray tans and sends his laundry out.

(Credit: Giphy)

During the reunion, DelVecchio admits he’s longer out hitting the streets looking for ladies to bring back to the (disgustingly named) “smush room.” Instead, at the time of filming, he was dating singer Aubrey O’Day after the two met on Famously Single—though the couple has now reportedly split.

JWoww is a badass mom

Best friends do everything together, and for Snooki and JWoww (Jennifer Farely), that meant settling down, getting married and having kids after their wild days on the Shore. Farely is still with her Jersey Shore bf/now husband of two years, Roger Mathews, and together they have two children. She is now the editor-in-chief of Miss Domesticated, dedicated to creating content for “millennial mamas who don’t necessarily fit the bill of what a mom is ‘supposed’ to look like.”

(Credit: Giphy)

TBH, JWoww may have changed the least out of the whole gang. Two kids and an entire reality show later, she still looks the same (which she admits is thanks to some botox), and she and Snooki remain super close. She even seems to have put the feud she had with “Sammi Sweetheart” behind her, and the two are on good terms now.

Sammi Sweetheart is done with Ronnie

The biggest questions fans and fellow Jersey Shore cast mates had for Samantha “Sammi Sweetheart” Giancola was her relationship status with on-and-off again Shore beau Ronnie Magro. Giancola didn’t say much except that she and Magro are definitely dunzo and from the sounds of it, things did nahhhtt end well.

(Credit: Giphy)

Giancola has since moved on to dating a new “juice head” named Christian Biscardi and she is v. smitten. She has also been producing her own podcast called Just Sayin with TV host Clare Galterio.

Notable absentees:

Ronnie Magro, Vinny Guadagnino and Deena Nicole Cortese—although from all the social buzz, it looks like we might be seeing them real soon.

Who we actually want to see more of:

JWoww’s husband Roger Mathews, who she met during the filming of Jersey Shore and is low-key my favourite Instagram account right now. No shame.

Peak Snooki moment:

When she suggested the group do mid-day shots to celebrate Sorrentino’s 18 months of sobriety.

Overall low point:

The complete lack of drama/story. The reunion was basically a “Where Are They Now?” special, but had none of the original show’s storylines or activities. No clubs. No locals. They didn’t even do a mini vacay together. This was literally a short trip to the Shore with a few old friends that are now more like nostalgic acquaintances—and that’s what it felt like.

Related:

Will & Grace Is Coming Back to TV + 8 Other Things Making Us Nostalgic RN
The Fresh-Prince of Bel-Air Cast Reunited for This Cute Pic
31 GIFs from The Hills That Made Us Love It
The Spice Girls Did It First, and Best

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